At what point does “why” our kids are struggling become irrelevant?

When I originally asked my son to write this article from his perspective as a frustrated university grad, he respectfully declined. The more I thought about it however, the more I realized that perhaps I was in a better position to cover the subject. After all, most of his frustration with finding employment, being in debt, and basically life in general; appear to be partially my doing. He actually has a legitimate point; I do belong to two overlapping generations that created most of the issues he’s dealing with today. I was born at the tail end of the the Baby Boomers and the beginning of Generation X. So I not only messed things up as a parent, I also have the unique distinction of being part of the two demographics primarily responsible for making his life so miserable.

As Boomers, in particular Late Boomers, we were certainly a busy generation. We redefined traditional values, culture, freedom of speech and expression, sexual freedoms, and civil rights. Unfortunately we also instilled a sense of entitlement and a genuine mistrust in governments and authority. We watched our parents pay in cash, stay within their means, do without luxuries, and follow rules; many of them never enjoying the fruits of their labour. That wasn’t for us at all; we weren’t about to wait or do without anything, especially when we could have whatever we wanted and just pay for it later. We decided if the rules didn’t make sense, then they weren’t worth following. We also decided our employers were going to pay us better, provide better working conditions, and take care of our retirement needs. After all, they had plenty of profits and we were the ones putting it in their pockets. The system seem to be working; as Boomers became double income households living excessively, we needed more companies to manufacturer goods and provide jobs; not a bad thing right? Well, along came my second demographic, Generation X, who took things to a whole new level. We spent even more excessively, took on more debt, and rewrote the book on family values. As our debts grew, so did our need for cheaper products. We weren’t about to do without either, are you kidding, we just didn’t want to pay full price. As foreign manufacturers improved quality, and importing cheaper goods became easier; debt stricken Late Boomers and Generation X’s couldn’t resist the savings. In other words, in order to maintain our own standard of living, we started supporting low cost manufacturing in countries with much lower ones; forcing many local manufacturers out of business or to lower wages. Yes, we heeded warnings of overindulgence and globalization affecting future generations; we just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly. That’s a hard pill to swallow if you’re a twenty-something when it all seems so blatantly obvious now.

As parents we sincerely try our best to do what we think is right. In spite of what our kids may think, we really didn’t intentionally mess things up. I realize how hard that is to believe at times, especially when you consider some of the poor decisions and mistakes we’ve made. Unfortunately many of us shared the same disadvantage; our crystal balls were malfunctioning and we thought the “how to” manual was outdated. We truly believed we were helping by being more lenient, unsparing, and supportive. We were determined our kids weren’t going to have to adhere to the same harsh disciplines, forced religious beliefs, or working conditions, as we did. We encouraged them to be free thinkers, become more educated, and increase their chances for success. Unfortunately, many parents like myself, thought we’d be in a much better position to help them get started.  Most of us didn’t count on starting our own lives over, assuming more debt, job uncertainties, or dealing with unexpected health issues; in my case colorectal cancer. With retirement around the corner, many of us are unprepared for it as well and we’re dealing with our own future challenges.

So we can continue to blame past generations, our parenting skills, our government, even the educational institutes for not doing enough to help postgraduates, but at what point does “why” our kids are struggling become irrelevant? We can even continue to feel guilty and make excuses for them; they’re certainly not to blame for today’s conditions, but what will it really resolve? I think it’s time we remind our kids that life is like a poker game; we’re all dealt a hand and we have to play with it. They can choose to pass and wait for a better one, but eventually they’re going to run out of chips if they don’t get in the game at some point. We should adamantly applaud and support the postgraduates sincerely trying their best to work with the hands we’ve dealt them. To all other graduates; yes, we screwed up the economy. Yes, we told you an education would give you an advantage. Yes, you accumulated debts. And yes, there are fewer opportunities. On behalf of all Baby Boomers and Generation X’s everywhere… WE’RE SORRY. But recognizing why things are wrong won’t make it right and future generations are depending on you to figure this out. Just be careful, even if you think you’ve tried your best… they still may be a bit judgmental.