Beautiful and smart
She had a big heart
Her smile would make you melt
She developed young
Her life just begun
When her fate was sadly dealt

All the boys were in love
Only God above
Knew what Julianna was going through
To protect her brother
Satisfy her mother
Did what she had to do

Her mother worked the bars
Men with fast cars
Her home was like a cheap hotel
So many men
Again and again
Made her life a living hell

Ran away at sixteen
Our young beauty queen
We really didn’t know why
The local pimp took her in
To his house of sin
A more than willing ally

She started working bars
Men with fast cars
Her home a cheap hotel
So many men
Again and again
Made her life a living hell

Found in her car
Hadn’t gone far
When she landed in thirty feet of water
Her journey through
God damn all those who
Ever called her their daughter

I pray that in hell
There’s a special hotel
For all the people that hurt her

Oh God never reject
Ones we fail to protect
…. Like our sweet Julianna

It’s strange how we pass people on the streets and if they seem the slightest bit out of the ordinary, we either avoid them or think they’re a nuisance. I must admit I do the same at times, mostly out of ignorance, but I’m still curious as to what their stories are. I’ve been fortunate to know a variety of characters over my lifetime, some would scare the life out of you, but all have a story behind who they are or what they’ve become. As I started getting older and life began to change for me, I found myself thinking a lot about the different people I’ve known. When you’re younger you’re so busy trying to survive, advance, and plan, you never really stop to think about the how’s and why’s. There are so many lessons taught to us about people and life; it’s unfortunate we seldom pay attention or learn from them. I think we all have some form of spiritual guidance as well, trying to steer us in the right direction and protect us. I often wonder however; why are some more effective than others? Do some spiritual guides lack compassion or competence, or are they all doing their best and we just don’t pay attention to what they’re trying to tell us?

There are many theories and books written about the affect our energy has on our surroundings as well: the basis being positive energy attracts other positive energy and negative energy attracts other negative energy. I do believe there is some merit to being positive, but I still struggle with where all this fits in with our most precious and innocent: our children. At what point do we stop protecting them and allow evil to enter their lives? Is there a special place for those who endure the unforgivable, and are they enduring it for a reason; perhaps to allow us to appreciate our own lives more. And who’s guiding the perpetrators and when did their energy become so negative? As someone who trusts profoundly in fate and believes there is a reason for everything, I still have a hard time with any reasoning behind hurting a child.

I wrote Sweet Julianna about a girl who lived in our neighbourhood. She was extremely pretty and very mature for her age, both physically and mentally. I was only about thirteen or fourteen when she moved in and liked her immediately. She was not only physically attractive, she was sweet and one of the kindest and most outgoing girls I knew at the time. Julianna was a pleasure to be around, but as she got older we started to notice her personality was changing; seemingly more with every new boyfriend her mother would bring home. She began to stay in a lot, and when she did come out she barely talked to anyone. We were surprised and confused as to why she was changing, but no one bothered to ask why. As ignorant adolescents we just assumed it was a girl thing. After all, most of the women we knew where going through changes and she was becoming a woman.

No one really knew for sure what went on in that house, but it wasn’t long before Julianna ran away. We were stunned to hear she was hanging out with the local pimp and living in one the rooms above his bar. I’ll never forget the day I saw her and another girl get out of his car in high heals, little skimpy shorts, and halter tops. Their faces painted with make-up and their hair all puffed up: I hardly recognized either of them. She looked older, sleazy, and really unattractive compared to the “girl next door” look we were so use to. I was heartbroken when I recognized the area they were heading to and realized they were actually working; I was also powerless to do anything about it. Either girl couldn’t have been any older than sixteen or seventeen, but even their own families had disowned them. It was only a few years later when Julianna tragically ended her life by driving in to the local canal.

No one was quite sure if Julianna’s life ended by accident or intentionally, but it really didn’t matter to most. She quickly became yesterday’s news and forgotten about, just like the people we pass in the streets. I look back sometimes and think about how ignorant we were as kids; why didn’t we notice, why didn’t she say anything, and why didn’t we reach out to her? I also remember people commenting on her, disgusted in the way she looked and acted. Could they have not seen she was only a child and how wrong they were? When I think of Julianna, I still think of the sweet outgoing young lady we all knew and loved before evil was allowed to take her from us.