October 20/1987 – August 12/2015

Autumn leaves on the ground
Something special in the air
A child brought into the world
Handsome; debonair

Coddled in his mother’s arms
A crown placed on his head
Told he could rule for eternity
Given a day instead

Look at me
I’m somebody too
Look at me
I have a point of view
Look at me
Oh please someone please…. look at me

A charm below the surface
Hidden behind obscenities
A heart filled with passion
Most seldom allowed to see

Desperate for attention
Even negative attention would do
Brilliance capable of changing the world
If only he followed through

Look at me
I’m somebody too
Look at me
I have a point of view
Look at me
Oh please someone please…. look at me

His crown never really taken
His kingdom always there
He just needed to understand
There was plenty of room to share

In a world so short of wisdom
His was needed desperately
To share his gifts; take his place
Fulfil his destiny

The world was too busy to notice
He had a point of view
So much more to offer
He was somebody too

Oh!! No more silent screams
…. Look at me
Please somebody please…. look at me

I had an old friend of mine pass away suddenly on August 8th of this year, which ironically also happen to be the same day as he was born. We were inseparable as kids and he was like a brother to me in my younger years; I was both shocked and saddened when I heard the news. We hadn’t seen much of each other over the years, but I thought of him often and always remembered how popular he was within our inner circle of friends

They decided not to have anything formal for him, so I just left my heartfelt condolences on the funeral home’s website. I was one of three people that had responded at the time so I assumed others would follow; the two additional comments were from a neighbor of his I didn’t know, and a girl from the old neighborhood we grew up in. I revisited the website several times hoping others from the neighborhood would respond as well and I’d see some names I would recognize; perhaps even some old friends we hung around with as kids. Unfortunately, mine was the last posting that would appear on his obituary and I felt all the sadder. I even posted the announcement on Facebook, however only a couple people close to me even acknowledged it.

When I originally posted this song on August 12th it was meant as a tribute to my son Ryan, and to acknowledge the 2nd anniversary of his passing in 2015. I decided to simply post the lyrics and not add any commentary at the time; I didn’t see or feel a need to expand on the words. There were a handful of people that acknowledged it on Facebook and my girlfriend Jane shared it on her page for her friends and family. The posting only received one singular comment from a mutual friend of ours expressing her condolences to me, and no acknowledgements.

I never thought much of it at the time, my intent was never to draw a lot of attention to the day or look for condolences. As a parent of a deceased child you don’t need anniversaries to remember their death, nor do you want anyone else to ever feel the sense of loss associated with it. In my case I simply posted the tribute as a memorial to someone who meant a great deal to me and I missed dearly.

It wasn’t until a few days later that I felt the true impact of the posting. I was out of town working from my hotel room when my phone started to beep continuously. The sounds indicated that people were acknowledging a Facebook post that Jane had tagged my name on. I was busy at the time, so I tried to ignore the distraction and finish my work. Finally, curiosity got the best of me and I had to look to see what was so important and what all the fuss was about. It turned out to be a picture of the new puppy we had just gotten and hadn’t named yet. Within minutes my screen was lighting up with responses from people all too eager to provide their comments and suggestions. In all, it received over sixty acknowledgements and more than thirty comments. As I scrolled down the remarks I couldn’t help but notice Ryan’s picture and the tribute I had written for him posted below… with it’s one lonely comment.

My heart broke as I put my laptop aside and laid there thinking of him. I remembered how much he hated social platforms like Facebook and all the useless information shared. Tears started to fall down my cheeks as I thought about how few recognized the anniversary of his passing, yet pounced at the opportunity to comment on this nameless puppy. For that moment in time there seemed to be such an imbalance of what was considered important, and how quickly we become insignificant in a world that moves much faster than we do. For Ryan, like my friend that had passed a few days earlier, life kept going on as if he had never existed; leaving just a handful of us to remind others that he did… that he was somebody too.

Happy birthday Ryan, I miss you more every day

Love, dad